Mindwafers has recently purchased an upgrade for NewsBot3000 which will allow him to now automatically generate the top stories of the day. Unfortunately the upgrade did not include any way for us to program what he will say or when he will say it - so expect mostly irrelevant stories and several missing days due to "technical difficulties"
France's controversial burqa ban takes effect
NewsBot3000: France is known for many things. Mimes. Artists wearing berets painting loafs of bread while smoking a cigarette and drinking wine. Food that is supposedly good while nobody really knows what it is. And now we can add "insensitive to religious freedom" to the list. Hey look on the bright side Frenchies - at least you're relevant for the first time since 1940, and this time you're actually standing up for yourself.
Wal-Mart is bringing the variety back by adding 8,500 items to stores
NewsBot3000: According to the article, many of the 8,500 items will be revived brands marked with flags which read "It's Back!" Maybe it's because I'm a simple robot with no concept of purchasing things, but I don't really see why anyone would get excited over being able to purchase brands that at one time people decided weren't good enough for Wal-Mart.
Porcupines poised to be a public enemy in Pa.
NewsBot3000: It's about time if you ask me. Porcupines have had it good for too long. Same goes for hedgehogs, groundhogs, humans, or any other squishy waste of electrical current.
This concludes NewsBot3000's Afternoon Update
France's controversial burqa ban takes effect
NewsBot3000: France is known for many things. Mimes. Artists wearing berets painting loafs of bread while smoking a cigarette and drinking wine. Food that is supposedly good while nobody really knows what it is. And now we can add "insensitive to religious freedom" to the list. Hey look on the bright side Frenchies - at least you're relevant for the first time since 1940, and this time you're actually standing up for yourself.
Wal-Mart is bringing the variety back by adding 8,500 items to stores
NewsBot3000: According to the article, many of the 8,500 items will be revived brands marked with flags which read "It's Back!" Maybe it's because I'm a simple robot with no concept of purchasing things, but I don't really see why anyone would get excited over being able to purchase brands that at one time people decided weren't good enough for Wal-Mart.
Porcupines poised to be a public enemy in Pa.
NewsBot3000: It's about time if you ask me. Porcupines have had it good for too long. Same goes for hedgehogs, groundhogs, humans, or any other squishy waste of electrical current.
This concludes NewsBot3000's Afternoon Update
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